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How can I write a good, CLEAN, FUNNY, personal add?

I I am trying to write a good personal add. I am going to use it on a telephone dating service and on my add on the internet dating sites.
I want it to be funny, so that my add will stand out above the rest.
How should I write it? Please don’t steal ideas from the pros. like Jeff Foxworthy, etc. (I.e. no saying: If you do this, you might be a red neck! Or Here’s your sign!)
How can I say this humorously:
I am a Single White Male. 34 Y/O. 5’7″ 160 Lbs. Short Brown hair. Green eyes.
I live in Orlando, FL. Originally from Michigan. I came here to get away from the cold weather in MI. So far I love it here.
I don’t smoke and drink socially.
I used to be a truck driver in the Army. While in the service, I visited 13 different countries, including: Germany, Iraq, and Netherlands just to name a few.
I like computers, writing, acting, dogs, cats, movies, Astronomy, NASA and making people laugh. I .have a great sense of humor.
I am very adventurous.
I study German on my free time.

in my opinion, that was very interesting, just keep it like it is… german ‘eh? me gusta mas espanol.

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